By Adair Swayze, LPC
Before the pandemic, my self-care game was getting really strong. I had started running. I was trying to cultivate space for creativity. I was practicing healthy boundaries with my phone, and being more present and productive. And then about a week later, the world changed.
Self-care, a phrase so over-used and misapplied as to almost strip it of meaning, looks different right now. None of us knows how to cope with the kind of collective trauma we are experiencing. When our brains are in physiological survival mode, long-term planning and short-term memory storage become very difficult. The possibilities for how to spend our time are somehow both fewer and more endless. Our brains at any given moment are both under and overstimulated. This makes even simple mental tasks incredibly draining. It makes us feel crazy.
For a time, maybe self-care does not need to look like goal setting. Or learning a new language or losing weight or writing the next great American novel. Self-care, now and always, begins with breath. It begins with gentleness and with curiosity. It begins with asking the questions “How am I doing in this moment?” and “What am I noticing in my body?” and “What do I need?”
Self-care is nothing more than offering first presence and then relentless kindness to your own heart. Even when your screen time metrics are through the roof and your stomach hurts and you’re lonely and irritable and scrambling and haven’t accomplished a single quantifiable item on your to-do list. Maybe it looks like blessing your own human efforts to survive and saying “well done” when you have successfully brewed coffee or texted all your dearest ones or let yourself weep for a few minutes.
There is no right way to cope during the pandemic. Just a continual choice to return to kindness and nurture toward our own hearts. And when you get stumped, remember the basics: food, water, sunshine, playfulness, connection, rest, and asking for help as often as needed.
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Adair is a staff therapist with Atlanta Counseling Center who specializes in working with adolescents and adults. Learn more about her services here.
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