By Laura Knorr, LMFT
If you were to check the emotional pulse of your closest relationship right now, how would you describe it? Connected? Conflicted? Warm? Distant?
All of us are facing unchartered territory and have been in small spaces with the people we love the most or isolated from them for a while now. When a couples and families are attempting to cope with higher levels of ongoing stress, it often leads to one of two outcomes: (1) stronger, closer bonds or (2) anger, loneliness, and disconnection.
It’s important now more than ever to assess the state of our hearts and take steps toward the ones we love. Some small ways to do this are:
- Approach your loved ones with a softened startup: use gentleness and non-blaming words to share how you feel without attacking your partner.
- Use repair attempts often: when dialogue with your partner starts escalating, point it out – press the pause button and apologize if you need to for using a harsh tone or words.
- Pick out one thing today that you really appreciate about your partner, focus on it, and let him/her know what it is.
- Plan something novel with your significant other to connect and break up the monotony. Some ideas include: setting up a picnic dinner, playing a game or working on a puzzle, cooking together, taking turns giving a massage, looking back through your wedding album or pictures from early on in your relationship, or simply having electronic free quality conversation about how you both are feeling.
If you are feeling unseen, unheard, angry, or distant from the people you love the most, today is the day to begin recalling positive memories you’ve had with them and reach out to them in love.
Laura is a staff therapist with Atlanta Counseling Center who specializes in working with couples and families as well as individual adults. Learn more about her services here.
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