By Mitchell Mundy, LAPC
Imagine that you find yourself in a peaceful state of mind while seemingly everyone around you is in a state of emergency. For lots of folks, this image will cause a reaction of guilt, shame, or irresponsibility. “How can I experience peace if there are things worth stressing out about?” Truly, in this historic cultural moment there are many things worth stressing about. Financial securities are being threatened, social connection is being cutoff, and the looming fog of uncertainty fills the air we breathe. I would submit to you that underneath emotions like fear, worry and stress are things we care about. Naturally, we feel those emotions when something we care about is threatened. Whether a goal we hope to achieve, a livelihood we aim to maintain, or a relationship we desire, there is always something of great value at the root of responding stress or fear. To add to this, we subconsciously appraise how much other people care by how stressed out they appear. Too simply, we have drawn up the equation, stress=care. Amid all of those things we care about being impacted, what is the argument for experiencing peace? Could it be the same for stress and worry? That we care?
At the root of peace are also the things we care about. Moments of clarity almost always happen in a peaceful state of mind. Experiencing peace allows us to take a thoughtful perspective on our lives. In peace, the content of our hearts and minds is the same as worry, yet there is more reflection and less reaction. The difference between peace and worry is not what inspires them, but the posture we take.
The analogy of exercise can be applied here. Worry is the active part of exercise; the lifting of the weight. Peace is the rest between sets or between workout sessions. Rest is necessary for more activity. In addition to increasing output, rest protects against injury and burnout. We need to experience peace in order to sustain the output of compassion and concern that is necessary for making it through this difficult season. We need it to show up well for others, to digest difficult happenings in a healthy way, and to be able to feel the sense of fulfillment and joy when good things enter our story.
I encourage us all to find balance. Throwing our great causes for concern aside to find peace is not necessary. I would say that doing so will not lead to peace, but instead to apathy and disillusionment. Hold the tension. When worry surfaces, give it productive space to exercise itself: make a to do list, tend to your budget, call a friend or mentor, ask for help. In balance, we dedicate ourselves to pursuing peace. Carving out time each day to center yourself and recharge is important: Go for a walk, paint something, read light hearted material, bake, plant a flower, pray, meditate, take a deep breath.
Give yourself permission to experience peace. It doesn’t mean that you have given up, don’t care, or are unable to make it through. In fact, it will be the daily dose that will allow you to show up as a sturdy person in your life and others. Strangely enough it can require effort to find, but with intention and practice, we can all find ourselves a bit more grounded and at ease. That is the kind of posture we all need right now. So, close your eyes, take a deep breath in…. exhale.
Now go in peace.
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Mitchell is a staff therapist with Atlanta Counseling Center who specializes in working with teenagers and individual adults. Learn more about his services here.
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