By: Bonnie Wallace
We are born with a hunger to love and be loved. It is the energy of the human spirit. It is our core. Our essence. Our deepest calling.
Yet we so often fail at it.
We often fail at love because we have many misconceptions about what real love is and the work it takes to nurture it. Pat Love in her book The Truth About Love, lists several misconceptions about love. They are as follows:
● Infatuation equals love – chemistry is all that matters.
● If it isn’t perfect, it wasn’t meant to be.
● Once love dies, you can never get it back.
● If a relationship is tough, it means you have the wrong partner.
● There is one true soulmate for everyone.
● You can’t rekindle passion.
● If you are really in love, you won’t be attached to other people.
It is normal to fall out of love. The honeymoon phase of love always ends. The normal developmental stages of love involve disappointment, hurt, conflict and even despair. The despair stage presents us with a decision- to stay and work on the relationship or to leave. It takes much courage to stay and work, for this work is not for the faint-hearted because it will not only invite us to grow, but also to grow up. Working on the relationship consists of owning our own issues and making the needs of the relationship a priority. Sacrifice, compromise, grace and humility are a part of this process. And always forgiveness.
True committed love comes from mutual work and respect. It is grounded, solid, and has stood the test of time. We then find our soulmate. And we will find ourselves valuable gifts in deed.