By: Laura Knorr
We send and receive “bids” for our attention regularly, but oftentimes miss these opportunities to connect with those we care about. Busy work lives, stress, caregiving, overly-filled schedules, and so much more demand our time and attention and distract us from the relationships that matter most. Relational researchers, John & Julie Gottman, have found that when we turn toward these bids for attention, we create the basis for emotional connection.
Frequently these bids are small starting points to conversation; for example a loved one may want to tell you about an interesting part of the book he or she is reading. In that moment you have an opportunity to turn toward him or her by responding, or you can miss the opportunity by ignoring or rejecting their bid.
If you have been stressed and preoccupied lately, you may be missing some of the bids for your attention. What distracts you the most from being able to respond to bids from your loved ones? Take a moment today to consider how you can reconnect with your spouse or others you care about most.