By Laura Knorr, LMFT
“I don’t belong. I hate my job. But let’s get real, I don’t even know what I want to do with my life. The bills are mounting. I’ve got to get out of my parents’ house/my crummy apartment/this part of town that isn’t “me.” My commute makes me want to pull my hair out, and I’m exhausted everyday. My friends seem to be doing just fine. Wait a second, who are my real friends now anyway? And don’t even get me started on dating; I can’t keep up. Tinder, Hinge, Match, e-Harmony. What happened to meeting the love of my life in the grocery store checkout line? Can’t I just go back to college and forget about being an adult?”
Have you found yourself saying things like this before? Have you come to a point in your life where things don’t make sense and life seems harder than it ever has before? Do you look around and feel like you are the only one struggling with the demands of a 20-something female in the digital age?
You are not alone and you do not have to go through this difficult transition by yourself. I’ve been there and so have countless other women just like you. Maybe you are telling yourself, “So I’m going through a transition. So what? Shouldn’t this be easier?”
Let’s take a look at what a transition really is: A transition is defined as “a passage or change from one stage to another.” Often, a transition is beautiful and painful all at the same time. The benefit of a transition is that the next stage you are entering has the potential to be wonderful. However, this can also be a period of time marked by a loss of what was – a close friend group, financial security, a location you loved, your identity, or something else. Things are not as they once were, and that is painful.
One way to begin dealing with a difficult transition is to remind yourself daily that you are not alone and that it is perfectly normal to struggle. Try to search deep within yourself and find the confidence to begin speaking about your struggle to trusted others. What you may find is that being real with yourself and others feels a lot better than pretending. You may also find hope and gain wisdom that makes the transition more manageable.
If you are interested speaking with others about this difficult time in your life and learning helpful ways to manage your transition, look out for ACC’s upcoming Young Women Transition Group this Fall. There you will find a place to connect with other women just like you.